March Cloud of The MonthApril 1, 2011 8:21 pm 6 Comments
It all started on July 1, 1988. My mother held me for the first and the last time that morning and sent me away. She had better dreams for me. My birth day came and spent all the time that he could with me through the adoption agency until Sep 3rd, 1988 when my new parents came to take me home. My mother thinks she saw my birth mom that day but couldn’t be sure. Growing up as an adoptee is very hard. You always wonder why your parents gave you up, where they are now, if you have siblings, could you have ever seen them, watched their kids..The list goes on. I also have a brother, non blood related, from Mississippi. When I found out what adoption meant and understood more, I learned David was adopted too. I had nightmares for the longest time that his mama was going to try to come and take him away. I would always wake up crying in the middle of the night. I probably started listening to Mark Schultz when I was in middle school. I grew up in a southern Baptist home so Christian music was always around. But Mark Schultz had these amazing lyrics and songs that I immediately started placing into my heart. They would always mean something to me. I saw him finally in concert at hickory grove Baptist (main and north campus) in charlotte, NC. He was in the middle of writing the song letters from war. He decided to perform it to us that valentine’s night. It was a very sweet and sad song. I cried and placed it in my heart for another day down the road. I graduated from high school and headed to Appalachian State University. I had his cd in my cd player one night driving down the mountain around 10pm in the fog and rain. The song everything to me came on. I had never listened to that song on the cd before so decided I had a ways to go why not. I heard some of the things like would your eyes be blue or green like mine…if I saw you on the street would you know that it was me…things that I had always wondered about my birth parents. I was basically flooding my car with tears and decided to make it down to the end of the mountain and call my mom and cry there. I told her about the song that she had also never heard and how I was relating it to my adoption. I know I have a good life and great parents, but it still hurts. Four years later, I’m in Augusta, GA with my mom and dad and brother who is now 19 and a United States marine currently deployed in Japan. The song letters from war comes into play now.
Mark Schultz just has a way of writing and performing his songs from his heart which touches the hearts of others. His songs hold meaning and can relate to people. I was on YouTube last night looking for the music video to everything to me and found a link about behind the story. I clicked on it. I never knew that Mark Schultz was adopted or that the song was what he would have wanted to say or things that he had wondered. It’s so amazing. The gift of adoption. The song everything to me has helped me a lot over the years. When I was down I would turn it on, get a good cry out of it and then write a letter to my birth dad, since he wrote me two before I was adopted, just to ask him questions. He will never get them because I don’t know who he is. If I ever have the money one day I plan on at least attempting to find him. So thank you mark for your songs of healing, love, and comfort. I don’t know what I would do without them
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This post was written by oddmotion